I’m officially a pervert.

Often, in the two-and-a-half years that Robbie and I have been exploring the world of perversion together, one of us would become nervous that the other was not really interested in kink. (I finally read enough to realize that this was a relatively common fear, like worrying constantly about whether you really love the other person more. At the end of the day, as long as you are both kinky and both in love, it’s all good.)

Enter Franklin Veaux, the man whose really helpful intro-to-BDSM pages started us off in our internet meanderings, google-searches, frothing emails, and frantic scenes.

Veaux has recently published a map of the world of fetishes, which, he says, has been getting a lot of attention. You can see it here. I am proud to say that both Robbie and I have almost all the imaginable fetishes, minus a few of the more disturbing ones (but I’ll even admit to a few disturbing fantasies–the ones beyond the Squick Peaks, in his drawing. It doesn’t bother me to say I have them, as long as you don’t know what they are.)

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to continue my exploration.

Thanks to ErosBlog for the tip . . .

And an EDIT . . . new and improved versions of Veaux’s sexmaps that let you mark places you’ve been and places you want to go.  Thanks to trinity-pup.

Lovely trinity-pup tagged me for this meme. I like memes, but only if they have to do with sex, and so I took the liberty of tweaking this one a bit. I transformed it the way we used to in graduate school when we were playing party games that we found dull—if the game involved a question, we’d add “in bed” to the end of it, and then laugh uproariously at the result. (It is beyond astounding to me to think we were in our 20s at the time, instead of our teens.)

In that same puerile and immature spirit, I added “in bed” to pup’s questions, which made some of them nonsensical, but I persevered! Herewith my answers:

What are the last three songs you downloaded in bed?

I don’t download songs in bed, nor do I text in bed, nor do anything much in bed besides read, sleep, and screw. But these songs get me in the mood to do the last of those:

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gay –sexy to me because you’d have to be dead not to think it was sexy

Viva la Vida by ColdPlay—sexy to me because the singer in the song sounds to me like a Roman general

Figured You Out by Nickelback—sexy to me because Robbie loves it for its twisted lyrics

What are the last three places you visited in bed?

This one also doesn’t make sense when you add “in bed” to it, but these are the last three best places for fucking I visited were—aside from Robbie’s house, of course.

Saratoga Springs, NY



What are your three favorite movies in bed?

I’ve seen my share of sexy movies, but it’s especially nice to watch them with someone you know you’ll be heading off to bed with. The three that stirred me the most, emotionally and physically, were:


The Lover

Lust, Caution

What are your three favorite possessions in bed?

I don’t get to wear these to bed anymore, but if it were up to me, my favorite possessions in bed would be jeans, a barely-there bra, and a long necklace. They all are ways to wickedly tease, which is, come to think of it, why I don’t get to wear them. Robbie likes to do the teasing himself.

The three things I do get to wear to bed that I love are my black boots, my camisoles, and my garter belts.

My collar would be on this list, but I tend to think of it as Robbie’s possession rather than mine.

What three things can you not live without in bed?

A blanket

Padding for the floor

A place to go to the bathroom when I wake up at 3am

I think I’m a simple girl. I also think this list cries out for a kind of captive-in-dungeon scene.

What would be your three wishes in bed?

This is extremely difficult, because I already get so many of the things I want, so many things I never imagined I could ask for, and so many things I never imagined.

More oral sex (really, who wouldn’t wish for that?)

More chances to switch with Robbie

More rope—lots and lots and lots of rope

What three things haven’t you done yet in bed?

Had sex in a car (uh, in bed?)

Done the paint-each-other-with-chocolate thing

Given a long, slow, soup-to-nuts handjob

What are your three favorite dishes in bed?

My three favorite dishes in bed would be the same things we tend to snack on after sex : berries and cream; chocolate cake; bread and cheese.

Come to think of it, these are the three dishes that I might want to bring to bed, too.

Which three celebrities would you most like to hang out with in bed?

I thought of gorgeous celebrities here, but I realized that I’d just be too nervous to go to bed with them. I think I’d need at least drinks and dinner before the shock and awe wore off.

Whoopi Goldberg. She cracks me up. I don’t want to sleep with her though, just maybe have a pajama party.

Steve Martin. He cracks me up and I want to sleep with him.

Demetri Martin. Because I obviously should stick with comedians–if I’m going to feel awkward with a strange, famous person, at least I can laugh about it.

Name three things that freak you out in bed.


Bedmates who have sleep apnea and briefly stop breathing while asleep. I don’t mind them, I just worry over them.

Oftentimes, waking up

Name three unusual things you are good at in bed.

Toe sucking

Face massages

Sharing the covers

Which three things are you coveting in bed?

A bigger and higher bed, perhaps with dowels or rods at the head and foot

The foot-of-the-bed blanket chest-cum-toy-box with pop-up screen for in-bed viewing of pr0n that Robbie keeps talking about building


Name three bloggers you are tagging

Green Woman, marianne, and mia. Why? Because they crack me up, of course.

I found this quiz over at Devastating Yet Inconsequential. I actually find the OK Cupid quizzes incredibly fun–and thought provoking, which is slightly unsettling to me. A dating website that makes me think? Harrumph.


You scored 71 imagination, 83 confidence, 46 dominance, and 88 generosity!

You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, SUBMISSIVE lover who prefers to GIVE. This means that: You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There’s no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren’t afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you’re never boring. You are pretty confident in bed. This means that you know you can please your lover. Maybe you’ve read a lot of sex manuals {I’m a frickin’ librarian of sex manuals} or have the experience from previous lovers, or just tend to be skilled at whatever you get your hands on {oh, well, y’know . . . *blush*} , but you’re good and you know it. You can really get results and know that you have pure talent, so you won’t be hiding away shy, pretending to be all innocent. Your partners love your naughty self assurance, you don’t hesitate and this makes you a sensational lover. You tend {tend?} to be submissive in bed, so you prefer to go along with what your lover likes rather than your own plans. You might like being ordered around and acting out a slave/master fantasy {not like; love}, or perhaps you just get turned on by being helpless and unable to move {yes, yes, all of the above}. Or maybe it’s as simple as you lacking courage so prefering firm instructions in bed to make sure you are doing things right. Either way, you won’t be dominating your lover anytime soon, and might prefer the missionary position to any others. You prefer to give than recieve. This makes you a very unselfish lover, devoted to the needs of your partner rather than your own. You get your pleasure from seeing them get theirs, you are a model sex partner. {They haven’t talked to Robbie, clearly.} I’m sure plenty of people would love to have someone like you in bed with them! Remember though that if your partner gets pleasure from returning the favour it’s okay to let them, they might love giving as much as you do!

WE SUGGEST YOU: Get crazy with the kissing. It sounds basic, but perhaps with all your wonderful kinky antics and games, you have forgotten how good it can feel just to kiss someone all over, and have the same done to you! Practise with different kissing styles, kiss your lover in places you’ve never kissed them before. Kiss to tickle, kiss to seduce, kiss for hours, or kiss when you know you can’t go any furthur with it, like when you have to be at work soon. Rediscover kissing. {Unnecessary advice, but thanks!}

I have always not-so-secretly wanted to do a meme. In general I think they’re rather silly, and I don’t like the idea of being tagged. But as I’ve said, I really like quizzes.

So when I saw this one on m‘s site, along with a general invitation to everyone to participate . . . that seemed good.  (Go ahead, please do give it a whirl if you like–Greenwoman has as well.)

Here’s to fours.

Four Girls

four unusual places you have had sex:

1. on the porch, tied to the closet, pinned against the banister
2. in the woods in England, not far from some fields of rape
3. in a church converted into an apartment building
4. in a borrowed apartment in Paris that featured a pet rat

four erotic books you’ve read:

1. Nicholson Baker: Vox and The Fermata
2. Rose Tremain: The Way I Found Her and Music and Silence
3. Jane Alison: The Love-Artist and The Marriage of the Sea
4. (The one I told my lover about that convinced him I wanted to be a sex slave.)

four of your favorite erotic zones:

1. lips
2. neck
3. shoulders
4. feet

four sexy experiences you want to have: (must cheat; so many more than four)

1. pick up my lover in a bar, as if we didn’t know each other
2. get locked in the cage and/or the cellar
3. have group sex we are both way happy with, especially if it’s at Dark Odyssey
4. get to the stage where my lover and I need with a deep and visceral certitude several TwistedMonk hemp rope kits and possibly some steel suspension rings

four favorites:
1. position…from behind
2. sex toy…wrist and ankle cuffs
3. porn…The Fashionistas
4. sexy music…the kind of music on the Stealing Beauty soundtrack

four sexy things you like to wear:
1. my collar(s)
2. garter belt, stockings, no panties
3. silk
4. whatever he wants me to

Viva Ultra Boys

Impishly odd foursome art by vivaUltra, via Sex in Art.

This one is making the rounds . . . found it at Thursday’s Child, who says she stole it from Chanta Rose. Answer four questions and the quiz tells you (if you happen to be a female bondage fanatic) your ideal position for bondage, and provides an image to boot.

I answered it three times in slightly different (yet accurate) ways . . . because I’m compulsive like that. And then I answered it once completely inaccurately because . . . well, you get the idea. The three I answered honestly ended up looking uncannily like pictures my lover has sent me of precisely what he plans on doing to me.

The other one looked really, really, REALLY weird to me. Ew.

This is one of the ones I liked . . . hehe.

Your Bishop
Bondage Position
You are so nicely presented. Your breasts are exposed for whoever might come along and take advantage of you. There is no getting free from this.

How would you be tied up?
Take the Bishop Bondage Test
(only 4 questions)

I told him about this little place.

He likes it.

He even took the quiz.

And so, for him, and for anyone else who happens to stumble upon this blog with nothing better to do but to research your own sexual interests . . . I offer you the quiz that will answer that urgent question:

Do I have an inclination for BDSM?

You know you want to fritter. Aw, go for it.

(I read about this at subtle slavegirl. She turns out to be a submissive . . . yay for her.

I on the other hand am a profound exhibitionist/voyeur . . .

Beautiful Day

. . . who loves bondage. To each her own . . . )

Thanks to the talented Alex Lee for the photo . . . what a find, via Cu-Cu.