I’m trying to find a way to give R. more room to be him.  From talking with him briefly, I think that perhaps he thinks that I shouldn’t have to try so hard, and neither should he.  We should be able to be ourselves, and find someone or someones who are okay with that, with whom there is less strain and struggle.

That may be true.  I am not sure.  What I know is that I’ve been watching kasia at Beautiful and Depraved trying to let go of her lover with love, and it’s an impressive effort. 

Whether I let go of him or not, I definitely want to set him free.   I don’t find Sting as moving as I did when I was 19, but he is right to say that you can’t control an independent heart.

And anyway, I think I still might want a whipping boy, at least on occasion. 


And I do, most definitely, want to be a prisoner in the dark, tied up with chains no one but I and my lover can see.  Well, the visitors who came by now and again to talk to R. might see them, but that’s about it. 

I think I need to go have a swoon. 

Photo of victim found at the delicious new Male Submission Art.